in my own words...

Lorraine BlakeI've lived all my life in Albanyville.  To be honest, it's a rather dull little city.  Lots of tree lined streets and flower beds planted among all the high-rises that have popped up.  Nice working family...Dad taught history at Albanyville University while Mom stayed home with me.  I'm an only child, but not by choice.  When I was about six, Mother was going to have another baby, but something went wrong.  She lost the baby and then found out that she wouldn't be able to have another.  She took the news so well.  She said that she had me and that was all that she needed.  I don't want to say that I was spoiled, but I really didn't want for anything as a child.  I played in the yard with the other kids and went to school.  Dull, dull, dull.  I was always craving some excitement.

I remember I used to borrow those romance novels Mom was always reading and hide in my room with them at night.  I loved reading about heroic men who professed undying love for their ladies and would move heaven and earth to have them.  Oh, how I wanted a love like that.  All I seemed to get were boys like Stanley Barlow.  Stanley was nice enough.  He just seemed to be entirely too interested in his stamp collection.  Now, don't get me wrong, Stanley treated me wonderfully.  In fact, he seemed to worship the ground I walked on.  I never really understood that.

Now, I wasn't what you would call homely, but I just hadn't "blossomed" as Mother would continually say.  There were days I'd thought I'd dry up before I blossomed.  Finally, I had to break up with Stanley.  I just couldn't do it.  I've never been able to date a guy if I didn't feel like I was head over heals for him.  Boy, was he heartbroken.  He told me he'd never love again.  I told him to get over it.

After graduation, I realized that since my marriage prospects were probably going to be slim to none, I had to take care of myself and enrolled in secretarial school.  It didn't take long before I completed my courses and started working at Callison Publications in the steno pool.  I kinda wanted to work there because they published some of the books that Mother always read.  I had hoped that maybe I'd meet one of the authors and I'd find out exactly how the heroines in their novels managed to find all the best men.  Not long after I started work,  Daddy got a teaching position at a larger university in New York.  I didn't blame him for taking the job, I was just a little apprehensive after he and Mom moved because then I would be all alone.  Then, one day, it happened.

It was almost like it was over night.  I woke up one morning and it felt like I was a totally different person.  Maybe the change was just happening gradually and I didn't notice, but I couldn't deny it any longer.  I really had blossomed just as mother said I would.  I decided I needed to stop dressing so dowdily and wear my hair in a more flattering fashion.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I actually looked pretty.  Apparently, I wasn't the only one who noticed.  Men started paying attention.  Handsome men!  I met Patterson at The Wishing Well, a malt shop close to the university.  We started dating and he was so wonderful to me.  I just fell in love with his little brother Todd.  I felt so bad for them.  Their parents had been killed in a plane crash not long before we had met and now Patterson was left to raise his brother alone.

As nice as Patterson was, I knew I didn't love him.  He was more like a brother to me.  He just didn't make me feel like the ladies in Momma's novels felt.  I felt horrible when I told him I couldn't see him anymore, but there was just no way around it.  It was a good thing I did end it with Patterson, because I met Trevor soon after.

I had just gotten a regular position as the secretary of Charles Callison, the owner of Callison Publications.  Trevor is his son.  He's so dashing and handsome.  He's a reporter for the newspaper and always seems to be working on some kind of article.  When I look at Trevor, I know how a woman is supposed to feel towards a man.  He makes me feel pretty and desirable.  I'm sure that this is the man that I've been waiting for.  Trevor must be the one who's supposed to make my life seem not so...dull.

March, 1935